The Essoyes Gazette: Chronicling Daily Life in a Small French Village Since 2006

The concept of an Essoyen Local Newspaper is an idea Sam and I had several years ago when our family first bought a house in Champagne. For those who have never been to Essoyes, it is very much a small town environment where seemingly inconsequential events and activities are given undue importance. At least this is how Sam and I view things.

Now, of course, there exists no real Essoyen newspaper; and even if there was one, it would certainly be a far more serious enterprise. But I believe our exaggerated news stories do hold some bearing on the reality of small town life in France. They are definitely more amusing, and, furthermore, fun to write.

Here’s an example:

Loud Noise at Night Startles Essoyens

‘It was terrifying’ claims eyewitness, Pierre-Jean-Marc-Claude Francois. ‘I hid my children in the wine cellar.’ According to Francois, his children are shaken but should be able to recover in a few days. Another eyewitness (who did not wish to be named in this article) related: ‘This disturbance shall not go unresolved; we are determined to locate the perpetrator and take the necessary precautions to avoid future incidents.’

Rumors and accusations have spread like wildfire. Fingers have been pointed at young Essoyen Jean-Luc de Chandelier who was spotted near the scene of the crime earlier that day with a kite and a soccer ball. However, no arrests have been made.

If Jean-Luc is convicted, it will be his second offense in less than a month. No more than three weeks ago, he was seen repeatedly striking a tree with a large stick and yelling ‘take that, villain.’ His behavior is most certainly concerning, and some citizens are considering an intervention.

A local council of Essoyen elders has been adjourned to discuss the possible ramifications of this event, and possible solutions to the ever-increasing noise problem in downtown Essoyes.  ‘We see this event as an opportunity to discuss larger Essoyen problems,’ declared a senior official in yesterday’s press conference.

And some more ideas:

Dog Accused of Excessive Barking; Tribunal to be Arranged

Americans Return to Village, Sporting New “Mammal of Action” T-Shirts

Car Drives Through Town at High Speed

Firecrackers Deployed at Teen Shindig

Op Ed: Ice Cream Social Proclaimed ‘Grand Success’

Rediscovering Renoir, Again

Italian Restaurant La Carbonara Purchases New Placemats

Mysterious Cat Seen Prowling Downtown

Town Doctor Retires after Sixty-One Years of Practice

 Death in Essoyes: a Look Inside Essoyes’ World Renowned Graveyard

Former Essoyen Wins Nomination for Farmer’s Association Award

Town’s Oldest Resident Installs Livebox: Rumors of Facebook Account Spread

Local Farmers Invest in New Tractors

Local Boy, 13, Shaves for First Time; Parents Excited